The wife should have anxiety and fear, if you're not communicating with the doctor to discuss your specific condition. Not medical answers, but you're in the right place here to talk with 'been there - done that' people. And sorry the insurance gives you limited avenues to pursue. Talk of a 2nd opinion could be another uro, or, a specialist. Specialists may not be near you, creating a travel problem. Military was mentioned ......... VA options? Again, maybe a distance problem due to the frequent visits needed. I did NOT like my first uro, pulled out for another, and things improved. Better care, and far better communication. Don't be afraid to make a change, it's you taking charge to protect your life now. As someone once said, you and wife will form a team on this new battleground. Feel free to stop back often and talk to the group.