I certainly would not recommend removing the bladder with a diagnosis of "probably invasive".
Get that 2nd opinion and then act and only with a top surgeon. Top surgeons in the field offer the top chances of survival with little or no side effects. Nerve sparing surgery when removing the prostate can save sexual function but there will likely be a time of not functioning (from a couple months to couple years). There are many options for the interim period that his doctor can discuss.
Probably the second thing to do, after you both take a deep breath, is to arrange for a second opinion. The University of Minnesota has some excellent people who specialize in bladder cancer treatment, as does Mayo in Rochester. I am sure some others will chime in with suggestions.
It is very important at this stage to be sure he is getting the very best treatment options available. Bladder cancer is not the expertise of many urologists, and a recent episode on one of the major TV networks reported that a huge percentage of patients with bladder cancer are NOT getting optimal treatment.
This should be your highest priority.
Good luck to you both
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
My boyfriend was recently diagnosed bladder cancer - probably invasive - in his upper part of the bladder. Surgeon wants to remove his bladder prostate and who knows what else. He is still young and i wish to save his sexual life. What can we do? Is there any other treatment or a less invasive surgery? He is located in St Paul, MN. Thank you and God bless you all