Whew! You have been through a lot lately. Glad that you found our site and do hope that it will be helpful for you.
Now is the time to take a deep breath and take some time to think this all through. You have had to absorb a lot in the past few weeks. This might be a good time to seek a second opinion on your diagnosis and treatment. Did the uro say why he recommended an external bag? This is the simplest, and is sometimes the only one that doctors with limited experience attempt. At your age, and being male, you might do very well with the neobladder. And whichever diversion you might be considering, you want to be at a hospital, and with a surgeon, who does MANY MANY of these a year....a real expert. You wouldn't take your fancy sports car to the corner service station for a complicated tune-up, nor should you do something similar with your life when you have the option to check out all the opportunities available.
Is it possible for you to seek a second opinion at the University of Chicago, for example? The BEST outcome of a good second opinion is that the treatment and recommendations of your local uro are "right on." The second BEST outcome is that, should there be better options, they will be made available to you. Your current doctor should welcome your intentions to obtain a second opinion...my uro has told me that should it come to a recommendation for bladder removal (it hasn't) he would INSIST on it.
This is the rest of your life you are planning for, so take a few days to be sure you are getting the very best.
Wishing you lots of luck
Sara Anne