Great news!!!!
Next step is to get the MOST experienced surgeon you can find at the best hospital for bladder cancer.
Most hospitals have reclining chairs (and some even fold out beds) for people to stay in. Check that with the hospital. Doubt you need to haul in a recliner.
One thing he can do once he heals up is the kegel exercises.
Pelvic Floor exercises
This link was posted by Humpy (Jim) a long time ago and it's the best write up I've seen on the exercises.
If he gets a neobladder, this will help him regain continence faster.
The "fight" was probably very good/healthy/cathartic for both of you. You are both scared to death and that is to be expected at this stage of the game.
Most hospitals have a list of hotels with special rates. Lucky for me, I travel a LOT and my wife was able to use my hotel points and stay for free. Glad I saved those points!
Don't burn yourself out. Don't let this be the all absorbing thing from now until the surgery. It will certainly take up a lot of time but we all need a "time out" once and a while.
Maybe come up with a word that means "No more talking about cancer" for a period of time.
It will be good to bring a few others in on the situation. It's good for you both to have someone else to discuss this with out of the two of you. He's going to be concerned about you and you are obviously concerned about him, but you both need to be sure be concerned about (and take care of) yourselves.
That's all I can think of for now.
Doing the happy dance now that your husband has made the decision!
Mike