Hi,
I was very glad to read you are going to UPenn because it is such a good place, and then was glad to read it was because of something I wrote that you chose it!
I see you are agonizing about your diagnosis, but please...try not to expect the worst. You might be surprised, I surely hope so. Most of the time the tumor needs to be removed, not the bladder. Of course your life is forever changed after bladder cancer (or any cancer diagnosis). But it is amazing how we learn to live with things that would have been unthinkable.
This is the most horrible time for anyone...knowing there is something going on but not knowing exactly what. But time flies, it really does, and before you know it you'll have a diagnosis and treatment plan, something to focus on and get through, and then come out on the other side.
I promise it gets better. If the anxiety is killing you, consider asking your doctor for some anti-anxiety meds to get you through this period. You wouldn't be the first person who needed a bit of pharmaceutical assistance! A cancer diagnosis is probably the most stressful thing a person will ever hear.
Take care, and I wish you much luck with the upcoming biopsy. Let us know what the pathology report says.
Wendy