sleeping a little better now

14 years 1 month ago #30264 by gijosephine
Replied by gijosephine on topic sleeping a little better now
thank you for your well wishes and your prayers. i have not spoken openly about my bladder cancer.. i feel like i am opening for the first time even though i have had cancer for 5 years. I am beginning to deal and cope with this cancer today, one day at a time is all any of us got.

this is where i need to be

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14 years 1 month ago #30228 by Flamenco.
Replied by Flamenco. on topic sleeping a little better now
Hi Josephine,
It really does get better. Without sounding too crass I can honestly say that my life now is better now than it was before my diagnosis, I worry less about things that in the big picture are not so important, I get greater pleasure from simple things that I took for granted before, when I have spare time I try to do something with it, I sleep like a log,
and although I do still worry what the next examination will bring I don·t dwell on it.
It·s not a bad thing to be mad about what has happened to you, but as you can·t turn the clock back, you will eventually accept it and then put that energy into going forward and living and enjoying the life you have got.
Diane

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14 years 1 month ago #30217 by wsilberstein
Replied by wsilberstein on topic sleeping a little better now
Dear Josephine,
Even though I haven't had a recurrence, I have had complciations that always make it possible that my bladder will interrupt my plans. I worried with my kids' weddings that something would go wrong, but I threw myself into it, baking the cookies and my son's wedding cake, and I made the trips, and I did OK between urologist visits. BTW, I'm 9¼ years cancer-free, so how's that for a little hope. It does happen.
What you need to remember is that you're new enough at this that you're still reeling form the initial shock, so it's that much harder to deal with recurrences. You will always be anxious about cystos... I still am, but I did find out today at the surgery (once again) on my stricture, that I'm cancer-free. And you will always hate the cystos. They're uncomfortable, they cause bladder symptoms for me, and I never know if I'll need a dilation of my stricture (painful :( ) or surgery.
The thing is, without your realizing it your life will move on, and one day you will be a seasoned bladder cancer veteran. I'm not saying you won't feel the same way you do, but it won't consume you, and your life WILL go on.

-Warren
TaG3 + CIS 12/2000. TURB + Mitomycin C (No BCG)
Urethral stricture, urethroplasty 10/2009
CIS 11/2010 treated with BCG. CIS 5/2012 treated with BCG/interferon
T1G3 1/2013. Radical Cystectomy 3/5/2013, No invasive cancer. CIS in right ureter.
Incontinent. AUS implant 2/2014. AUS explant 5/2014
Pediatrician

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14 years 1 month ago #30207 by pemquid
Replied by pemquid on topic sleeping a little better now
Strange as it may sound to you now, once you get used to having check-ups every three months, it honestly does get to be routine, especially if you continue to be all clear. Many of us don't even think about the check-ups and possible results until a day or so before they are about to happen. I know that low grade papillary bladder tumors are still cancer, but the word "cancer" covers a HUGE range of kinds of conditions. The problem I think for many people (and it sounds like you are one), the word "cancer" implies "death sentence," or at least a very altered way of life. It's too bad that in medicine the same word has to be used for things with very good lifetime outcomes which are easy to treat (e.g.,low grade types of bladder cancer or skin caner)and for things which are much more deadly (e.g., much lung and pancreatic cancers). It might help you to try not to let the word "Cancer" be so overwhelming, and to think instead about the good prognosis for the type of bladder cancer you've been diagnosed with. My urologist calls it a "nuisance cancer."

I hope you'll write and let us know how you feel after you've had several all clear 3-month check-ups.

Best of luck!

Ann

Small TA Grade 1, May-06; recur (2 tiny), same, June-08; TURBTs both times. BCG begun July-08, dosage to 1/3rd May-10, completed treatment December-11. All clear since 2008.

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14 years 1 month ago #30191 by vgau
Replied by vgau on topic sleeping a little better now
I hope to say this in a way to help.

Yes, it's Ok to be mad, wish it wasn't you, could do one thing and then have it be over. Been there, done that, and may go back and forth from time to time.

However, I believe from listening to the people here that it is only you that can realize how lucky you are. You are still alive, you can do many things yet in your life.

My mom had a cancer as well. We made a list and it really helped her, it's helping me, and maybe will help you as well.

What are the positives in your life right now on one side.
What do you still want to do on the other.

Seeing this made a lot of difference and we kept this on the front of her notebook. She checked things off as they were accomplished.

The visual and check list became a goal and prize for still being alive. It also helps frame your mind when it wants to go down that negative path.

Maybe this would help you see things differently.
Vi

Dx 10/5 Non Invasive Papillary

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14 years 1 month ago #30189 by GKLINE
Replied by GKLINE on topic sleeping a little better now
OK OK OK OK! I hear you crying, but you can't come in!
Take this from the refuse to lose dept.


Things I have done since I had cancer!

Gone Golfing
Gone Skiing
Sung second tenor in a mens quartet
Searched for a church rector and was VERY picky!
Learned to cook REAL bar-b-que took a LONG time
Given up any grudges I may have had
Listen to my customers better
Played Guitar as a guest stand in for a local band
Sung a duet on Christmas eve with my daughter
Found out I am a pretty good MC at the Chamber Dinner; funny too... at least they tell me
Reconnected with my family as I learned what is really important
Became a mentor for others who have health issues that disrupt their lives and need a kick in the pants or a shoulder
Got back in a race car to prove something to myself and took home a trophy.
Needed a hip replacement and used my cancer knowledge to find a great surgeon
Started again with the golf and skiing and singing and racing thing.....

This cancer thing is not the end.... it can be a new beginning of sorts
Don't let this disease take over your life

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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