Vi,
Yes, people will be all over the map. Many will take their cue from you. Let them know how much or how little you want to discuss it with them.
For those that are already in the avoid mode, they are going to be in for a big surprise because given that you had a low grade, non-invasive tumor, there is a very good chance that you will outlive them and die in a boating accident in your 90's.
Low grade, non-invasive bladder cancer is cured WAY more often than not when found as early as yours was. It doesn't mean you shouldn't get the diagnosis confirmed at a bladder cancer center and that watchful waiting is not in order. I think I've probably harped on that enough at this point but I will glady stop as soon as you schedule that follow up.
That presentation that Cynthia just posted this morning about non-invasive even says they recommend getting a single dose of mitomycin immediately after the re-TURBT. Look at the stats in that presentation for when people do that. You ARE going to get past this.
If caught early, treated properly, and monitored correctly bladder cancer (especially a low grade, small, single tumor) will not be what you die from.
If people know that, I think they will then be more than comfortable talking with you. It's good to have a friend to go on appointments with you. They, along with you, learn more and you will each remember different bits of the discussions with doctors. My wife went with me on most visits I had and it was a big help. Not just the support, but the ocmbined memory of the discussions.
The more you learn, the more you can educate others and then they will be much more comfortable about things (as will you). As this initial shock of the big C word diagnosis will wear off for you, it will for those you talk to.
Let us know when you get that follow up appointment scheduled with UCH.
I can recommend a few great doctors there. Do you prefer male or female, short or tall, slim or stout?
Mike