Rudy
You are ME! only a few years older! I wish I had found this site BEFORE I had my Neo bladder surgery. My surgeon did a great job, but, I had ALL the same questions that you have!
I found a Surgeon in Albany NY that had served at MD Anderson in Houston and knew his stuff. My search for a surgeon was amusing to him. I asked him everything I was afraid of. Even told him that I was NOT a number. I had a lot of things to do with my life and if he was not up to the task, then I would look elsewhere. He was a little taken aback for a second. Then he opened up and we had a conversation. I think the medical community has a way of distancing themselves from the cancer patient. It may help them to cope.
But, after my "I have a Dream" speech, he really opened up and became a name.
I have entertained my friends with my description of my surgeon. I did NOT want an artist... I wanted an ASSEMBLY LINE WORKER. I wanted a guy (or woman) that has done so many of these that he can do them in his sleep. I kind of like the 1,000 count of successful surgeries as a guide.
As for the "getting back in life" part. I had my surgery on 08/08/08 and I was able to golf on Oct 15th, Ski on January 17th, and go auto racing on May 22nd. You will too. Reading your posts..... Maybe sooner!
The surgery is hard to recover from, but you will do it. Stay in good shape. This will speed your recovery. You will learn how to push yourself. Just knwo the difference between bad pain, and recovery pain or healing pain.
One thing you need to think about is The Ansthesiologist.... Very important! They are instrumental in your recovery. These people can really make or break recovery time. You should have a consult before surgery. They ask a LOT of questions.... answer truthfully. I think my "gas man" made a big difference in my mental clarity after surgery.
Keep up that positive attitude and you will be fine. The other people on this site KNOW their stuff and are more than willing to share.
Good luck
George