Wow Mike......who is doing your surgery? Is it being done in Florida? Do you have a choice of where to go and what surgeon to pick?
I found this extremely long paper on neurogenic bladders and there's many suggestions on what to consider and about 3/4 of the way down the page is the ileal conduit. This is the simplist of the surgeries and not as much down time as with the other diversions. Pain can be managed many ways but i'm really not familiar with the referred pain you might be talking about. For most of us the pain is from the waist down and thats managed either by epidural or a morphine pump for a few days.
Take a look at this and don't get freaked out...they have to mention all the possibilities just like they do with drugs.
www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1949036
I know this is a different situation but i know that the indwelling catheters have been a problem with Uti's and leading to bladder cancer in many spina bifida patients. My neighbor has a daughter born with a severe case of it and in a wheelchair. She just (at the age of 11) had an Indiana Pouch put in and she is doing fabulous with it.
Pat