So we have an appt. Thursday (11-12) to go see a nurse practioner to get some blood work done at the VA in order to get some new scans done. So this is GREAT news, he is finally getting new scans. We had a long conversation today and he is starting to talk about surgery and the recovery process etc. But I'm trying to not jump ahead of myself. He gets the scan done on Friday, 11/20/09 and we have to see if/where the cancer has spread, but I am through the moon that he has met me in the middle about going back to the Dr. and getting new scans. He even asked me to research other Dr.'s etc, so we can have an idea of who our choices are etc. so needless to say those of you who have kept up w/ this post, my dad has finally conquered his denial and let's just now hope it isn't too late!
Let me know if you did not get my contact info via email. Happy to resend it if you need.
BTW: Even if it has spread, there are still things that can be done! Of course, the sooner it is treated, the better the treatment options and the higher the probability of positive outcomes, but it doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel.
His current course of action is pretty much throwing in the towel. No reason to give up without a fight!
Well I read what you said to him, and I think each time he hears that it's going to spread, if it hasn't already, really hits home. My mom's calling the VA today to even see if they will run test to see if it has spread over the past 6 months and if he would even be a candidate for the neobladder anyomre, it might not even be an option. But I'm not giving up. Last time I bugged him about it for about 5 weeks and then I just stopped, I can't stop this time, because I know that it's my last chance to save him. And I know that he knows it is his only choice, so now he just has to make the right decision... so we'll see...
but Mike, can you email your phone number? If I can get my dad to call you, you can maybe let him know what the surgery is like, the recovery process, etc. I feel that maybe talking to a survivor will help. I'm going to try and have him call Cynthia hopefully this week, but I think it might help him talk to a man about the situation.
So sorry to hear that he hasn't changed his mind and still refuses to do anything.
You have tried and tried. I don't think anyone can ever say you didn't do all you could. If he chooses to pretend it isn't spreading it is all on him and not on you.
It's really hard when someone you love and respect chooses a course of action that doesn't make sense to us. However, it is their choice and their course of action.
I wish it could be different. By the time he "feels bad" from bladder cancer, I doubt anything would be able to be done. He feels good because of better diet but it's completely unrelated to the bladder cancer.
10 years 6 months ago - 10 years 6 months ago#27932by JKolbinsky
Another update. My dad still hasn't done anything yet. He is continuing to eat organically, no sugar etc. and drink what he calls 'cancer tea'. Well last Saturday he started peeing blood again, he said it was really dark and frequent. Well then it stopped on Sunday. He made an appointment with a urologist closer to where we live, instead of the VA. The VA sent over his records and the urologists pretty much told him the same thing we heard 6 months ago. He recommended that my dad go and have more scans done to see where the cancer is now. It was invansive, not sure the level and that was 6 months ago. My dad says he feels great, better than he has in years... so it's hard to tell him that he needs to have surgery.
He is soo stubborn. But I wanted to give you guys an update, I push the cancer under the rug everyday for the last 6 months, but days like today are hard... it's hard to avoid the fact that my father has cancer and he can die, if he doesn't do anything about it.. and he needs to do something soon. I'm so tired of trying to convince him that this is the what he needs to do to live... that I almost want to give up, but then I would feel like I didn't try hard enough.