Marne:
When I was first told by my uro in early May 2008 that I had a small tumor in my bladder I had to fight freaking out. Then came all my research (a lot of it via this great website) and then came information overload (reading stuff; getting three opinions from docs), etc. Now I am calm and sorted out (most of the time).
Karen & Rosemary are absolutely right. Everyone should get a second opinion. And since you are in NYC, you have access to some of the best in the country.
Many people here (and elsewhere) have gone to Harry Herr at Memorial Sloan Kettering; he has written more papers and done more research on BC than anyone else and is recognized as one of top BC guys in the world. And I have heard you can get in to see him fairly quickly. He has a rep for no bedside manner and others have suggested two docs who work with him closely: Dr. Sagani and Dr. Rebanoi (sp?). But go get a second opinion, and then a third if the second varies greatly from the first. But then you have to balance more info overload. Most insurance companies pay not only for a second opinion but, if it differs from first, will also pay for a third.
And write down all your questions and bring them. What works for me is that I type my questions, reread them and revise them, bring two copies to appointment and give one copy to the doc at the start of the visit. I then take notes of answers on my copy cause after I leave I forget what was said. The two docs I have done this with seem to appreciate being able to get right to my questions; saves them time.
And if you can bring someone with you: partner, friend. Two sets of ears are better than one.
Good luck and focus on what you have control over, not what you do not. (If only I could always take my own advice).
Stay on an even keel and good luck,
David
Male Dx T1G3 5/08 @ Age 59. TURBT 5/08; TURBT+40 mg MMC 6/08; BCG (6) 7/08-8/08; Cysto & TURBT 9/08; BCG Maint(3) 10/08, 3/09; 7/09; 11/09; 5/10; & 1/11. Clean cystos 2/09, 9/09, 3/10, & 10/10.