Ron,
I remember spending time in the fetal position when I got my pathology back. Being diagnosed with bladder cancer was the most terrifying things that ever happened to me. I still wonder at the fact that I got myself together to get the treatment I needed; I was so possessed with cancer. And the time while you are waiting for you pathology to come back is agonizing. As Grandma would have said you are neither beast nor fowl. You might be getting ready to deal with a chronic situation such as diabetes or high blood pressure or you are in for the fight of your life or somewhere in between. Now looking back four years and dealing with blc survivors daily I know that the chaotic cancer mind seizure period after dx is very normal. Get something for anxiety if need be, if there is ever a time for it this is it. Be careful of using more than you have to as some people wonder into addiction from the stress. I also went for therapy for a while. Many of us find that our loved ones want to buck us up and we go along with them. But that does not leave us anyone to speak to; being able to say what you are thinking out loud without upsetting someone you care about is invaluable. And seeking support such as this site is a very good idea also. You are going to be on an emotional rollercoaster right now but once treatment ends and for most even before it will get better. You are still in the shock phase, give it time.
CancerCare is a very good site for support and all of their services are free; they do on line counseling.
www.cancercare.org/get_help/pwc.php
But believe this no matter what your diagnosis is I can introduce you to long term survivor with the same alive and kicking. You are not a statistic there is hope and you are hedging your bets, I know this because you are here and want to learn what you need to know to handle this thing.
Also know we are here for you and will walk the path with you. Here come's another Grandma-isum “Do not buy trouble and pay interest on it”. Until you get your pathology back there is no way to know what you are dealing with. But you and I know until then the fact that anything is possible will devil you. Try to do things you like, be nice to yourself and others, cut yourself some slack. If you love to fish or something plan to do so. In other words be kind to yourself, doing things you like may not make it go away but it is more bearable and the time goes faster. Keep us updated.
Chin up and straight forward
