Hi Jeanne, sorry to meet you under these circumstances. When I was first diagnosed, my response was very similar. Everyday for a while as soon as I woke up I felt like I had CANCER in giant letters imprinted on my forehead. I had fears and concerns as we all do. I still do, but at a lesser degree now.
Believe me I never thought I would ever recover from the shock, but I did, you come to terms with it and accept the dx at your own pace.
Take note of Wendy's advice, before I joined here I searched the net for answers and was just overwhelmed with information. Looking back this just increased my anxiety.
You will get so much support and advice here people are just so nice and supportive.
Yes, we do un-freak but Wendy is right, it takes time. I was dx'd in Mar. 07 and finally feeling like somewhat normal again...and all of us are different and so it varies from one to another, based on disposition, experience, attitude, our treatment, etc. Anyway, hang in there and stay with the website...it was a real Godsend, blessing to me in my greatest time of need. I turned to God and this website and neither ever let me down. My family and friends tried to help but none of them could really understand the place I was in but I knew God did and those who have been there and done that. You will be OK...just take one day at a time...read, research, pray, laugh, cry...whatever helps...you will be completely amazed at how strong you can be. Take care, hugs, Melodie
Melodie, Indy Pouch, U.W.Medical Center, Seattle, Dr. Paul H. Lange & Jonathan L. Wright
Hope you got atleast a few ZZZZZZZZZ's last night...I had a hard time relaxing after I was diagnosed.
I believe Wendy posted a good one, especially about being careful about what you read in regaurds to how many kinds of bladder cancer there are. Keep in mind that most bladder cancer is noninvasive. You could do a number on yourself by reading all the invasive cancer info and you do not need that right now. When you read here about our journies thru bladder cancer - look for the hopes and the strength.
When you get your path report and recommendations for treatment - post it. The forum will help you get info you need to understand what you have. They will also want to be sure you get the appropriate care with the best drs you can get. This may seem strange and freaky, to share such with strangers. But everyone here will want the best outcome for you and you benefit from all our experiences
The unfreak stage has taken me quite a while to find, and it can still be elusive. Life has changed. This cancer made me feel robbed and violated - I couldn't find a place ( even in my sleep ) to feel safe for a long time. Even now the night time is when I have to lay down with the quiet and my fears. Some nights I do better than others. I am pretty sure others struggle with how life has changed too. I rely on my faith yet I have fearful moments. I laugh and smile, but sometimes I cry. And everyday I just try some more...now I am babbling!
Can't wait for the unfreak stage. I think I kinda jumped to the anger stage real quick. I really need to apologize to that nurse practitioner ,sigh. She just walked away from me, but can't blame her I guess. I seem to have all that DADA mixed together right now ???
Yes, you do unfreak. Good word, by the way. But it usually takes some time post-diagnosis, and doesn't normally come so often while treatments are ahead, or scans or tests are looming.
Be gentle with yourself.